I have been pretty under the weather lately both in terms of my health and my general mood, so I'm going to blog about something fun: Halloween!
I love any excuse to wear a costume or dress up- theme parties, plays, holidays, etc. So naturally, I love Halloween. This year presented an unique challenge: a theme. I'm going to a friend's birthday party and the theme is look like a book- so essentially dress like a character from a book.
Naturally, I'm bringing my beau with me. After a lot of brainstorming and window shopping we decided to do something together. We're dressing as characters from Homer's the Odyssey. The beau is going as Odysseus, obviously. My original thought was Penelope, Odysseus's wife, but now I'm leaning more toward Athena, the goddess of war, civilization, wisdom, strength, strategy, crafts, justice and skill. Athena heavily assists Odysseus in his journey.
Which ever character I end up going with my costume is the same. I didn't want to spend a lot of money so I'm going with a dress I already have. It's olive green with kind of a draped look and an uneven hem.
I'm accessorizing with a gold and bronze braided headband, bronze medalion earrings, gold sandals and a pewter arm band. Tomorrow I'm going to go to a craft store to get some gold rope and some fabric to make a cloak or some draping with to make it a little more toga-esque.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
"significant other"
There are a lot of terms that can be used to refer to the person with whom you are romantically involved. There is the prototypical boyfriend/ girlfriend or husband/ wife. There are derogatory/ possessive terms- bitch, ho, old lady, ball and chain, sugar daddy, etc (ever notice most of those are for women?). Then there are the generic, non gender specific "significant other", spouse, partner, boo, sweetie, etc.
It's hard to find the right terms to fit your relationship. You have to consider gender, how serious the relationship is, is it exclusive or open, monogamous or polyamorous?
I feel like I've outgrown boyfriend/ girlfirend. I refer to the two main guys from my past as my "highschool boyfriend" and my "college boyfriend" so it feels wrong to refer to the man in my life right now as a boyfriend. So what do I call him then?
Husband, spouse and any derogatory or possessive terms are obviously out. Significant other is something you see on a form... I like partner. It's gender neutral and egalitarian, but I feel that it is a little too strong for where we're at right now. I don't really like sugary terms like sweetie or hunny, and I call my bff Katy boo... so those are out.
I've decided I like beau. (pronounced like bow). According to dictionary.com, beau is "a frequent and attentive male companion". That seems accurate. Plus, it has an old feel too it and reminds me of an Oscar Wilde play.
What do you call your "significant other(s)"?
It's hard to find the right terms to fit your relationship. You have to consider gender, how serious the relationship is, is it exclusive or open, monogamous or polyamorous?
I feel like I've outgrown boyfriend/ girlfirend. I refer to the two main guys from my past as my "highschool boyfriend" and my "college boyfriend" so it feels wrong to refer to the man in my life right now as a boyfriend. So what do I call him then?
Husband, spouse and any derogatory or possessive terms are obviously out. Significant other is something you see on a form... I like partner. It's gender neutral and egalitarian, but I feel that it is a little too strong for where we're at right now. I don't really like sugary terms like sweetie or hunny, and I call my bff Katy boo... so those are out.
I've decided I like beau. (pronounced like bow). According to dictionary.com, beau is "a frequent and attentive male companion". That seems accurate. Plus, it has an old feel too it and reminds me of an Oscar Wilde play.
What do you call your "significant other(s)"?
Monday, October 11, 2010
Femininity, feminism- inner conflicts
This post is in response to an article sent to me by Sydney, one of my oldest friends (we met when we sat next to each other in Ms. Cox's math class in 5th grade) and also a response to some feelings about gender roles that have been causing quite the internal struggle for me as of late.
I am a woman, I am 23 years old... and I am a feminist. It took me about 20 years of my life to be able to comfortably understand and state that I am a feminist- partly due to the social stigma around the word, and partly for the lack of a label for feelings I can trace back to my step father's unwillingness to chip in around the house or change my sister's diapers (that's a story for another day).
I am a feminist for many reasons, but choice, equality, and freedom lie at the center of all of those reasons. I believe that all people should be allotted the same opportunities and freedoms, regardless of their anatomy or gender expression. I am a feminist, but I am not androgynous at all.
For better or for worse I am a very feminine person. Some of my feminine qualities I find very attractive- I like that I am nurturing, warm, and intuitive, and that I am not violent, or aggressive. Some qualities I find very troublesome- I am apologetic to a fault and I avoid conflict, often times to my own detriment.
Recently a coworker made the observation that many of the women in my current social circle are not interested in commitment or monogamy. I agreed with the observation, but this does not describe me.
I like commitment! I like monogamy! I want a family!
I tried doing the single girl sex and the city, having unattached sex thing for a year. It wasn't for me, and it ended about 8 months ago when I started seriously seeing my current beau. With the exception of that year, I have been in a committed, monogamous relationship since I was 15. I dated my high school sweetheart for almost 4 years, the last year of which we spent engaged. I went straight from that relationship into dating my college boyfriend for a little over 2 years.
A few weeks ago I visited one of my best friends in New Orleans. This trip happened to occur right after my beau told me that he had not told his mother we were seeing each other, and after I'd been grappling with whether to say those oh-so-significant three words to him for a few weeks.
On this trip I stayed with my friend Katy and her sister, brother in law, niece and nephew. Katy's sister is only 25, but is married and has two adorable children. It was through staying with this family that I realized I want a family sooner rather than later. This realization came out in a late night confession to Katy on her porch. Katy did not judge me or think less of my when I told her I felt this way.
It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders! I don't have to feel like a freak for wanting these things. Feminism is, after all, about choice. I can choose to have a family, and that's ok. Now the bigger dilemma is figuring out how to express these desires, and those three words to the man that I am falling for more and more every day. And the biggest dilemma for me will be finding the strength to walk away if we don't want the same things.
I'll get back to you when I figure that one out.
The article that kinda brought this on: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marcia-reynolds/what-is-femininity_b_748070.html
I am a woman, I am 23 years old... and I am a feminist. It took me about 20 years of my life to be able to comfortably understand and state that I am a feminist- partly due to the social stigma around the word, and partly for the lack of a label for feelings I can trace back to my step father's unwillingness to chip in around the house or change my sister's diapers (that's a story for another day).
I am a feminist for many reasons, but choice, equality, and freedom lie at the center of all of those reasons. I believe that all people should be allotted the same opportunities and freedoms, regardless of their anatomy or gender expression. I am a feminist, but I am not androgynous at all.
For better or for worse I am a very feminine person. Some of my feminine qualities I find very attractive- I like that I am nurturing, warm, and intuitive, and that I am not violent, or aggressive. Some qualities I find very troublesome- I am apologetic to a fault and I avoid conflict, often times to my own detriment.
Recently a coworker made the observation that many of the women in my current social circle are not interested in commitment or monogamy. I agreed with the observation, but this does not describe me.
I like commitment! I like monogamy! I want a family!
I tried doing the single girl sex and the city, having unattached sex thing for a year. It wasn't for me, and it ended about 8 months ago when I started seriously seeing my current beau. With the exception of that year, I have been in a committed, monogamous relationship since I was 15. I dated my high school sweetheart for almost 4 years, the last year of which we spent engaged. I went straight from that relationship into dating my college boyfriend for a little over 2 years.
A few weeks ago I visited one of my best friends in New Orleans. This trip happened to occur right after my beau told me that he had not told his mother we were seeing each other, and after I'd been grappling with whether to say those oh-so-significant three words to him for a few weeks.
On this trip I stayed with my friend Katy and her sister, brother in law, niece and nephew. Katy's sister is only 25, but is married and has two adorable children. It was through staying with this family that I realized I want a family sooner rather than later. This realization came out in a late night confession to Katy on her porch. Katy did not judge me or think less of my when I told her I felt this way.
It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders! I don't have to feel like a freak for wanting these things. Feminism is, after all, about choice. I can choose to have a family, and that's ok. Now the bigger dilemma is figuring out how to express these desires, and those three words to the man that I am falling for more and more every day. And the biggest dilemma for me will be finding the strength to walk away if we don't want the same things.
I'll get back to you when I figure that one out.
The article that kinda brought this on: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marcia-reynolds/what-is-femininity_b_748070.html
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