Home is where the heart is?

Sorry blog world. It's been awhile, and not for lack of things to write about. It has been a very eventful month. I reached a tipping point at my job where I realized I need to move on sooner rather than later. This leaves me with a really difficult question. Where do I look for jobs? I still don't really know the answer.

I don't know where I want to be, but I know I do not like Boston. Like any place Boston has it's redeeming qualities, but mostly I find it drab. The summer is short and the winter is long, and like the weather, the people are not particularly warm. The cost of living is really high. The population is not very diverse (where else do you see a predominantly white crowd come out of an NBA game?!?). It feels like everyone is in a hurry all the time. On a more personal level- outside of work I don't have friends here. And it's so far away from Ohio and so expensive to travel there that I haven't seen my family in a year!

So you're probably wondering why I haven't left yet? Well finances are a big part of it, but there's also the beau. I love him more and more everyday, and this is where he wants to be and plans to be for the next  4+ years (graduate school). Things between us went from moving at snailspeed to moving much more quickly just in the last month and a half. We said our I love yous and I spent Thanksgiving in New York with his family. We've even talked about him meeting my family.

Speaking of my family. Growing up a military brat, home was always where my Mom was (the house we lived in in Portland, TX is above). I would really like to live near them for the next few years. I feel like I'm missing my sister's entire life. She just turned 15, she's in her first year of highschool and getting into all sorts of trouble. I've seen her so little over the last two years that I still see her as 12 in my head. I really want to be closer to her so she has a role model, but also a friend. I can't imagine having her parents divorce has been easy on her and it sure as hell hasn't been easy on my mom. I want to be there to pick up the pieces, but I hate Ohio even more than Boston and I know I could never be happy or have my own life there.

Where do I see myself? Well, I'm conflicted. There are so many feelings and ideas floating around my head all the time- I think I'd like to settle down in Maryland, eventually. I might like to live in New Orleans for a year or two or go back to Austin, where my furniture and belongings are in storage. I might also want to go to graduate school eventually. Would Boston feel better if I had a job I actually enjoyed or if I felt I was here with a purpose, like graduate school?

Home is where the heart is, or at least that's what I hear. Well my heart is here with my beau, and in Ohio with my family. But neither place feels like home, so I don't know what to do.