I'm a Diva

In honor of V Day I decided I'd go vaginal on you...

*This entry is not for the squeamish. If frank discussion about menstruation is not your cup of tea, you might want to stop reading now...

It has been found that most women have heavier, longer, and more painful periods during the winter months, and I have definitely been feeling that this winter!

Did you know that the average woman will spend 3,500 days of her life menstruating? That's a lot of time... and a lot of tampons, pads, and pantyliners. In fact, world wide over 12 BILLION pads and tampons are used (and disposed) each year. These used pads and tampons go into sewage systems and landfills, polluting the earth. Pads and tampons have also been known to contain pesticides, chlorine, and formaldehyde. Bad for the earth, and bad for your vagina!

Two years ago I started using a menstrual cup, specifically the Diva Cup (pictured above), and I will never go back to tampons and pads. What is a menstrual cup you might ask? Well it is a funnel shaped cup made out of firm, but flexible material, like silicone. You insert it into your vagina during menstruation. Like a tampon, it is held in place by the muscles of your vaginal walls and collects your menstrual flow. Instead of absorbing the flow, like a tampon, the cup catches the flow.

This means that as a cup user you actually have to get up close and personal with your menstrual blood when you empty the cup, wash it and reinsert. The bright side is you only have to do this twice a day because you can leave the Diva Cup in for 12 hours! The down side is it can be a little messy and difficult to do in public bathrooms. I usually avoid this by putting it in right before I leave work in the morning and dumping/ cleaning it right when I get home.

Menstrual cups aren't for everyone. I have several friends who have tried them and have just not been able to get the right fit, others are grossed out by washing blood and clots out of the cup twice a day. Not me, I find it kind of fascinating. I've also found that I feel cleaner and happier on my period than I did with tampons or pads. I also spot less at the end of my cycle.

Using the Diva Cup has also saved me a ton of money. Instead of spending about $200 a year on tampons, I spend $35 every two years on a new cup. Plus the up-keep is super easy. You just wash it with soap and warm water (I use unscented feminine wash) and then boil it for about 5 minutes at the end of your cycle.

Moral of the story: if you have a vagina and haven't tried a menstrual cup I strongly recommend it. Your body, your wallet, and the earth will thank you:)

Women who Rock

I pooled my Christmas cash and ordered myself brand new ipod touch, so I've been slowly adding some new artists to my itunes. Lately I've been in a gurrrly indie rock kind of mood. Here are some of my current favorites:


Tegan and Sara
Tegan and Sara are an awesome Canadian indie band fronted by twin sisters. I love listening to their album "So Jealous" while I'm on the T in the morning.


Regina Spektor
Regina Spektor is singer/song-writter with a gorgeous voice. She is also an activist and let the Courage Campaign use her song fidelity in an adorable video in support of repealing prop 8. (warning- it might make you tear up a bit)

Rilo Kiley
I recently discovered this awesome band. My former boss had them on all the time in the office. The band is fronted by two former child actors. You may recognize their song with arms outstretched from the pilot episode of Weeds:)

Snow-ver it!

The Boston Common after a snow storm. This gorgeous view is only a block from my office!

I'm really trying to like Boston, really..... but this winter thing is getting a little ridiculous. We've had over 5 feet of snow thus far this winter! I mean the snow isn't so hard to deal with in Boston, because I don't drive here, but it's really cramping my style. Wearing rubber boots, jeans and a sweater almost every day makes me feel so frumpy. I'd rather be wearing a sundress and flip flops! I got out of work a little early tonight, so I thought I'd peruse some of the stores by my office (I do this a lot). Seeing all the cute spring styles I won't be able to wear for another couple months just made me sad. 

I have a lot more than a less frumpy wardrobe to look forward to this spring. My beau and I are planning a trip to DC/MD in May around our birthdays. He'll be turning 25 two days before I turn 24, so it will be a great time for us to rent a car and drive the 8 hours down route 95 to the DC area. Beau and I have not yet taken a vacation together, so it will be a great way to celebrate our birthdays. Also, I am really excited to share some of my favorite places in the world with him. Taking a rental car also means we'll be able to go down to Southern Maryland, where I went to school! Just thinking of spring days by the Saint Mary's River makes me warm up...

In the mean time, there's still at least a month or two of Boston winter left. So, here are 5 things I actually like about winter:
1. Holding a mug of hot tea.
2. How sunny days seem so much brighter when there's snow on the ground.
3. Making (and eating!) soup or chili.
4. Flannel pajamas
5. Staying under the blankets with someone special (I've got my love to keep me warm!)
 
What are your five favorite things about winter?

Live well

It's a new year, and it has been almost two months since my last entry. No excuses- from now on I'm making at least one entry a week and shooting for two. It's a New Year and it's time for me to make a lot of changes. As per usual, I'm not very punctual in instituting resolutions- being that it is the 23rd, but better late than not at all right? I am not usually the type to make New Year's resolutions- mostly because I really hate winter and don't feel motivated to make big changes in my life in January. Typically when I make goals for the year I do it around my birthday in May, when the sun is shining and summer is ahead of me. But this year is different for a few reasons. There is no way to sugar coat this or put it gently, and that is why it has taken me so long to write about:
In December one of my coworkers, Carin, died. She died alone, in our office, late on a Saturday night or early Sunday morning. She was 28 years old. I wasn't particularly close to Carin, and rarely saw her outside of the office, but her death rocked me to the core. My most visceral response to her death is anger. I'm angry she was so young, and angry that she died working. Carin worked too much- she'd been working 80+ hours a week for my company basically nonstop for over 6 years. Your work should not be your life.

Carin's death was staring me in the face every day, so the major vacation I had planned for the holidays could not have come at a better time. Although it was wonderful to see my family, the vacation was not everything I'd hoped it would be. In fact, it was kind of a wake-up call for me. I saw in my family so many things that I do not want for myself. My mom stresses over everything and is having a really hard time surviving financially. My grandfather is sick but refusing medical treatment. My grandmother is obese and miserable as a result. I'm terrified I'm going to loose all three of them before I should because they don't take care of themselves. I'm also terrified by how much of myself I see in each of them.

If there's anything I've learned from all of this, it is that LIFE IS SHORT. Life is too short to sweat the small stuff, too short not to take care of yourself, too short to spend behind a desk at a job you hate.

I've come up with one resolution for myself: live well. It's simple to say, but it's a big task. Here are a few of the steps on my path:
Make my physical and mental health my number one priority.
Don't be afraid to take risks/ speak my mind.
Learn to love my job, or find a job I can love.
Be more creative.
Make Boston home.
Get my finances in order.
Be better at keeping in touch with friends and family, near and far. 
Have fun!

It might take more than a year to achieve my goal of living well, but I'm willing to give it my best shot and be patient.

Home is where the heart is?

Sorry blog world. It's been awhile, and not for lack of things to write about. It has been a very eventful month. I reached a tipping point at my job where I realized I need to move on sooner rather than later. This leaves me with a really difficult question. Where do I look for jobs? I still don't really know the answer.

I don't know where I want to be, but I know I do not like Boston. Like any place Boston has it's redeeming qualities, but mostly I find it drab. The summer is short and the winter is long, and like the weather, the people are not particularly warm. The cost of living is really high. The population is not very diverse (where else do you see a predominantly white crowd come out of an NBA game?!?). It feels like everyone is in a hurry all the time. On a more personal level- outside of work I don't have friends here. And it's so far away from Ohio and so expensive to travel there that I haven't seen my family in a year!

So you're probably wondering why I haven't left yet? Well finances are a big part of it, but there's also the beau. I love him more and more everyday, and this is where he wants to be and plans to be for the next  4+ years (graduate school). Things between us went from moving at snailspeed to moving much more quickly just in the last month and a half. We said our I love yous and I spent Thanksgiving in New York with his family. We've even talked about him meeting my family.

Speaking of my family. Growing up a military brat, home was always where my Mom was (the house we lived in in Portland, TX is above). I would really like to live near them for the next few years. I feel like I'm missing my sister's entire life. She just turned 15, she's in her first year of highschool and getting into all sorts of trouble. I've seen her so little over the last two years that I still see her as 12 in my head. I really want to be closer to her so she has a role model, but also a friend. I can't imagine having her parents divorce has been easy on her and it sure as hell hasn't been easy on my mom. I want to be there to pick up the pieces, but I hate Ohio even more than Boston and I know I could never be happy or have my own life there.

Where do I see myself? Well, I'm conflicted. There are so many feelings and ideas floating around my head all the time- I think I'd like to settle down in Maryland, eventually. I might like to live in New Orleans for a year or two or go back to Austin, where my furniture and belongings are in storage. I might also want to go to graduate school eventually. Would Boston feel better if I had a job I actually enjoyed or if I felt I was here with a purpose, like graduate school?

Home is where the heart is, or at least that's what I hear. Well my heart is here with my beau, and in Ohio with my family. But neither place feels like home, so I don't know what to do.

Halloween!

I have been pretty under the weather lately both in terms of my health and my general mood, so I'm going to blog about something fun: Halloween!
I love any excuse to wear a costume or dress up- theme parties, plays, holidays, etc. So naturally, I love Halloween. This year presented an unique challenge: a theme. I'm going to a friend's birthday party and the theme is look like a book- so essentially dress like a character from a book.
Naturally, I'm bringing my beau with me. After a lot of brainstorming and window shopping we decided to do something together. We're dressing as characters from Homer's the Odyssey. The beau is going as Odysseus, obviously. My original thought was Penelope, Odysseus's wife, but now I'm leaning more toward Athena, the goddess of war, civilization, wisdom, strength, strategy, crafts, justice and skill. Athena heavily assists Odysseus in his journey.
Which ever character I end up going with my costume is the same. I didn't want to spend a lot of money so I'm going with a dress I already have. It's olive green with kind of a draped look and an uneven hem.
I'm accessorizing with a gold and bronze braided headband, bronze medalion earrings, gold sandals and a pewter arm band. Tomorrow I'm going to go to a craft store to get some gold rope and some fabric to make a cloak or some draping with to make it a little more toga-esque.

"significant other"

There are a lot of terms that can be used to refer to the person with whom you are romantically involved. There is the prototypical boyfriend/ girlfriend or husband/ wife. There are derogatory/ possessive terms- bitch, ho, old lady, ball and chain, sugar daddy, etc (ever notice most of those are for women?). Then there are the generic, non gender specific "significant other", spouse, partner, boo, sweetie, etc.

It's hard to find the right terms to fit your relationship. You have to consider gender, how serious the relationship is, is it exclusive or open, monogamous or polyamorous?

I feel like I've outgrown boyfriend/ girlfirend. I refer to the two main guys from my past as my "highschool boyfriend" and my "college boyfriend" so it feels wrong to refer to the man in my life right now as a boyfriend. So what do I call him then?

Husband, spouse and any derogatory or possessive terms are obviously out. Significant other is something you see on a form... I like partner. It's gender neutral and egalitarian, but I feel that it is a little too strong for where we're at right now. I don't really like sugary terms like sweetie or hunny, and I call my bff Katy boo... so those are out.

I've decided I like beau. (pronounced like bow). According to dictionary.com, beau is "a frequent and attentive male companion". That seems accurate. Plus, it has an old feel too it and reminds me of an Oscar Wilde play.

What do you call your "significant other(s)"?